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Nick · 22 · Filipino

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10 Biggest Relationship Mistakes

  1. Don’t Expect Her To ChangeDon’t expect them to change. People change because they want to, not because you want them to.
  2. Don’t Make Assumptions - The biggest relationship mistake I see young men make is thinking that “women are this way” from all the stupid “forever alone,” “Hey, aren’t girls crazy?" and "Hey, listen to this story about my crazy girlfriend" stories that float around.
  3. Try To See Things From Her Point Of View - I would have to add empathy to that list. Being able to place yourself in your partner’s shoes and see things from their perspective is very important when diffusing fights or disagreements. The challenge is to get your partner to also do this on a regular basis.
  4. Find Someone Who Shares Your Interests - Here’s the straight scoop. There is a woman who will love playing video games with you. There is a woman who loves sports. Hell, there is a woman who loves polka, if that’s what you’re into. Don’t get stuck in the trap of believing “what girls are like” and accepting someone who doesn’t mesh with you based on this foolish common “knowledge.” If you don’t want to be forced to watch Sex and the City, find a woman who’s not interested in Sex and the City, or one who is but who respects that you aren’t. Don’t want to go shopping? Tell your woman or find one who doesn’t want to drag you along. Many of the problems I hear guys complaining about could be easily fixed by finding someone who actually shares their interests instead of the first hot body that catches their eye, or by putting their foot down at the beginning of the relationship. Don’t pretend you like things you don’t, don’t go out of your way to pretend you’re someone you’re not; just be you and find someone who enjoys what you do
  5. Make Sure You’re On The Same Page - Furthermore, be careful for “feelings inequity” (she likes you more than you like her, or vice versa). Not sure if this is a problem, but most relationships go badly because of this. I’m not sure if there’s even anything you can do about it, just something to watch out for.
  6. Learn To Compromise - The biggest breakdown in communication is when both parties expect different things. You can’t expect to have the same feelings on every issue, but you should be able to find an equitable meeting place. If one party keeps having to compromise but the other doesn’t, it can get bitter quickly.
  7. Tell Her How You Feel Tell her about it. F*ck being clingy. If you feel something, really feel it. Say it. If she doesn’t feel the same way, you’ll lose this one girl, but if she does and you wait too long, you could regret it forever.
  8. Always Resolve IssuesAlways resolve issues; don’t leave things you care about unresolved. If you care about something don’t say “That’s OK” when she gives you a half-assed excuse. If it actually isn’t OK that she still sees her ex every Friday night, tell her. It will eat at you if you don’t.
  9. Don’t Get PersonalWhen you argue, don’t get personal. Respect her. Don’t say things that will hurt her feelings and expect she does the same. Your loved ones can cut you the deepest, but they never should.
  10. Make Sure To Communicate - Lack of communication. Make sure you talk sensibly about the things that bother you and, in turn, when she does the same, don’t make judgments too fast; think about how you respond.


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